THE COMBINE HAS COME AND GONE.

OFF THE BAT, THE JOUST WAS SCRAPPED DUE TO SAFETY CONCERNS (ANKLES, CONCUSSIONS).

IN ADDITION, FOR 2018, THE IMPACT OF THE COMBINE HAS CHANGED.

INSTEAD OF IMPACTING DRAFT ORDER, THE RESULTS OF THE COMBINE NOW IMPACT FREE AGENT BUDGET (FAB) DOLLARS.

FAB DOLLARS WILL BE ALLOCATED AS FOLLOWS, BASED ON FINAL COMBINE STANDINGS:

1ST – $1,500
2ND - $1,400
3RD - $1,300
4TH - $1,200
5TH – $1,100
6TH – 9TH - $1,000
10TH - $900
11TH - $800
12TH - $700
13TH - $600
14TH - $500

ALTHOUGH THE STAKES WERE LOWERED, SOME DUDES CAME TO BALL!

FIELD GOALS

AS USUAL, THE SHUTTLE CHAMP STARTED HOT, MAKING FIELD GOALS OF 25, 30, AND 35 YARDS, FOR A TOTAL OF 90 POINTS.

RED RUMBLERS CAME IN SECOND, SHOOTING THREE CONSECUTIVE 25 YARD FIELD GOALS BEFORE MISSING HIS FINAL ATTEMPT.

BILLY AVOIDED BEING BLANKED BY KICKING A 15 YARDER ON HIS FINAL ATTEMPT.

SHUTTLE CHAMP – 90
RED RUMBLERS – 75
AZYNPRSWAZYN – 40
BULL KAKA – 40
SWANEY – 35
COCKTAILS FOR BREAKFAST – 25
HIGH ON POTENUSE – 25
THE LAW – 25
WIN – 25
XIANTS – 25
SWEET D – 20
BILLY – 15
SAL - DNP

FOOTBALL TOSS

BILLY LED ALL COMPETITORS, WITH AT LEAST ONE SCORING THROW AT ALL THREE DISTANCES, FOLLOWED BY HIGH ON POTENUSE, WHO WAS ALSO ABLE TO MAKE ONE THROW AT EACH DISTANCE.

AZYNPRSWAZYN WAS THE ONLY COMPETITOR IN ATTENDANCE TO FAIL TO MAKE A SINGLE SCORING THROW. FAIL!

BILLY – 70
HIGH ON POTENUSE – 60
RED RUMBLERS – 40
WIN – 40
XIANTS – 40
THE LAW – 30
OHMY GATOS – 30
COCKTAILS FOR BREAKFAST - 20
BULL KAKA – 20
SHUTTLE CHAMP – 20
SWANEY – 20
SAL - DNP

RELAY

2018 SAW THE INTRODUCTION OF A NEW EVENT – THE FOOTBALL CLOTHES RELAY.

COMPETITORS WERE REQUIRED TO “RIDE” A CHILDREN’S BICYCLE A SPECIFIED DISTANCE, DON A HELMET AND PADS, AND RETURN ON THE BICYCLE.

DUE TO A COMBINATION OF FACTORS (RIDING STYLE, CLOTHING CHANGE, DISMOUNT), HILARITY ENSUED.

HIGH ON POTENUSE – 100
BILLY – 90
XIANTS – 75
SWEET D – 55
COCKTAILS FOR BREAKFAST – 30
OHMY GATOS - 5

OBSTACLE COURSE

THE 2018 OBSTACLE COURSE WAS MUCH LONGER THAN THE 2017 COURSE.
ONCE AGAIN, AZYNPRSWAZYN WAS REQUIRED TO DEMONSTRATE THE COURSE. RED RUMBLERS MUST NOT HAVE BEEN PAYING ATTENTION, AS HE WAS UNABLE TO NAVIGATE THE FINAL CONE COURSE CORRECTLY AND WAS REQUIRED TO RE-RUN IT SEVERAL TIMES.

SHUTTLE CHAMP POSTED THE SECOND FASTEST TIME, NO PENALTIES AND ONE SCORING THROW, TAKING THE EVENT. WIN, ON THE OTHER HAND, POSTED THE THIRD FASTEST TIME, BUT HAD SEVERAL PENALTIES AND LEFT THE EVENT WITH A NEGATIVE SCORE.

SHUTTLE CHAMP – 110
THE LAW – 100
OHMY GATOS – 75
HIGH ON POTENUSE – 30
XIANTS – 20
SWEET D – 5
AZYNPRSWAZYN – 0
RED RUMBLERS – 0
BULL KAKA – -20
COCKTAILS FOR BREAKFAST – -20
WIN – -25
BILLY – -80

TD DANCE OFF

IN THE FINAL (AND MOST ENTERTAINING) EVENT, THE LAW TOOK A SECOND CONSECUTIVE EVENT WIN, WITH A TOP GUN INSPIRED DANCE.

THE DANCE WAS SO GOOD, THE SONG WAS RESTARTED.

THE LAW DID NOT DISAPPOINT.

JUST SO YOU KNOW, YOU’RE POORER FOR HAVING MISSED THE EVENT.

OHMY GATOS TIED FOR SECOND WITH SHUTTLE CHAMP, PERFORMING A RAPS REPLINGER INSPIRED HULA. IT WASN’T THE HAKA, BUT IT GOT THE JOB DONE.

SWEET D BROUGHT SILLY STRING AND SOME UNTZ-UNTZ.

THE BEST PART OF THE DAY!

THE LAW – 120
OHMY GATOS – 115
SHUTTLE CHAMP – 115
SWEET D – 114
AZYNPRSWAZYN – 96
BILLY – 90
RED RUMBLERS – 88.5
WIN – 83
HIGH ON POTENUSE – 76
COCKTAILS FOR BREAKFAST – 70
XIANTS – 63
BULL KAKA – 48
SWANEY – 31
SAL – DNP

OVERALL RESULTS*

ANOTHER YEAR, ANOTHER SUCCESSFUL COMBINE.

FOR THE FIRST TIME IN COMBINE HISTORY, SHUTTLE CHAMP IS NOT THE WINNER!

IT’S A NEW DAY!

MEANWHILE, FOR THE FOURTH CONSECUTIVE YEAR, HIGH ON POTENUSE COMES IN SECOND. GUY JUST CAN’T CATCH A BREAK.

AS THE SAYING GOES, “IF IT’S BROKE, DON’T FIX IT.”

BUT…MAYBE DUETS OR KARAOKE NEXT YEAR?

WHO KNOWS.

THE LAW – 365.0
HIGH ON POTENUSE – 349.3
SHUTTLE CHAMP – 335.0
XIANTS – 313.0
RED RUMBLERS – 311.8
OHMY GATOS – 303.3
SWEET D – 279.0
AZYNPRSWAZYN – 236.0
BULL KAKA – 188.0
BILLY – 185.0
WIN – 153.0
COCKTAILS FOR BREAKFAST – 125.0
SWANEY – 71.0
SAL - DNP

*OVERALL RESULTS INCLUDE SCORES FOR MARCH MADNESS AND 2018 NFL DRAFT PROP BET EVENTS